Something happened. Something I always told myself would never happen. Some where, somehow, along the way, I failed to use a very important two letter word: no.
A few weeks ago, my husband asked me if I remembered do something (which I didn't) and I lost it. "I can't keep doing this! I am doing so many things that I'm not even doing any of them well, and I'm exhausted!"
I didn't even realize that was happening. The words just came spilling out of my mouth and then it clicked. I was trying so hard to do everything, which worked for a little while, but then life caught up to me and I felt like I was drowning.
I have sat with multiple friends who were in over their heads, giving them the same advice: " if you don't say no to people, then sooner or later you won't be much help in any area of your life because you will be spread too thin. You need to take care of yourself before you can take care of others."
Have you ever given someone advice that you were really confident in and then completely ignore it? It's kind of like a kick in the gut once you realize it.
So, why do we do this to ourselves? From what I have experienced, usually people do this for a few reasons:
#1 They feel like they have to say yes to everything and everyone in order to be loved or accepted.
#2 They feel like they should be able to do everything, and if they can't there is something wrong with them.
#3 They want people to see them doing "all the things" with the hope that they will look successful or like the have their life together
Whatever the reason, I am here to make a PSA: IN ORDER TO POUR INTO OTHERS, WE HAVE TO FILL OURSELVES. It can sometimes be a hard thing to swallow, but it is incredibly necessary. And guess what? You are worth it. So incredibly worth it.
Need to feel loved and accepted? First of all, Jesus loves and accepts you for exactly who you are, and He is more than enough to satisfy. Second, needing to feel loved and accepted usually leads to being disrespected and getting walked all over. Let me tell you right now: you deserve respect and love and acceptance. If you believe that as truth, people will see your truth and respect you.
Feel like you need to be able to do everything? I'm going to be straight with you (also, i'm 1000000% speaking to myself here) - you can't do everything and you will never be perfect. And that's okay. Ask yourself this- where is your self worth found? If it's not in Jesus, you will never feel worthy, no matter how much you do or how well you do it.
Need people to give you validation? Listen, sometimes people suck. Sometimes I suck. We all suck at some point. So, to looked for fulfillment in other flawed people won't ever get you the validation you need. But guess what? Jesus thinks you are worth dying for.
So, sweet friend, once you find your worth in Jesus instead of people, and once you realize you are worth respect, I promise you you will be amazing at the way you can serve others. So, let's go spread some self love around like confetti.